Inevitably, one of the first questions anyone new asks you is, “What do you do?” And your answer is always what your job is. Why is this such an important a question? And why don’t people ever mention other parts of their lives? Clearly, your job has somehow become so embedded in your life and character that you define yourself by it. On top of that, you are waiting for their reaction to your job, as if this stranger’s opinion matters in the grand scheme of things. You need to take a step back and realize that your profession is not the most important thing about yourself, and that no one should judge you on your life or your work.

Your self-worth and self-identity have now been co-opted by your job. And yet, what about all the other things you do in life (e.g., parenthood, hobbies, traveling, certifications, etc.), why are they not interesting or important enough to be what your life is all about? Somehow, your job has become all-important. But even though your job is also called your livelihood, it is still just the thing you do during the workweek. It helps you bring in the money to pay for your lifestyle, but, in the end, it’s not going to be on your tombstone, so why should it define your whole life right now?

To get out of that mindset, you need to step back from the job and find other things in your life. Try taking up those hobbies you always wanted to try. And don’t think that you’ll take it up next week, month, or year; procrastination doesn’t help you in your job, why would it be good to have it in your life? Even if your job is super fulfilling and brings you happiness (lucky you!), try to find something outside of work to help you destress. Stepping back from it will allow you to come back refreshed and you can enjoy it even more. Disconnect from work -- and maybe from screens in general -- and go out there and do something, walk, take photos, go see a play, etc.

In the end, you need to figure out if you make money to live or live to make money. Most people say the former, but never end up doing the crazy bucket list things they want. We all feel hampered by expectations from all sides, especially since society judges you based on your employment, whether it be the job itself, the title, or the pay scale. No one wants to work at crappy jobs, even the name “menial employment” shows that we all have negative associations with it. So what if your job isn’t glamorous or perfect? Enjoy what you can and save up to do what you really want. Don’t base your worth on your job; after all, if you lost your job, you’d still have all of your skills. You are still you, no matter the circumstances. You are enough as you are, don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t.

If you are depending on your job to find your worth, then you need to think about why that is. Are you feeling pressure from society or family, etc.? Take a step back and remember, as Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So buck up and embrace your own personality and life. Take pride in who you are and don’t try to be like everyone else. After all, if we’re all unique, then you shouldn’t try to fit into a cookie-cutter mold.

Remember, your job is not the most important thing in your life, and it shouldn’t be. So find worthwhile activities outside of work to help you define yourself by who you are and what you love rather than through your job. If you do, you won’t be so dependent on work to fill up those empty places that should be taken up by your social life, hobbies, and relaxation time. If you do, you should find a more fulfilling and happy life.